Communicating Your Estate Plans to Family Members

Parents sometimes find it harder to talk to adult children about their estate plans than it was, years earlier, to have “the talk” about where babies come from.  Nevertheless, it’s important for parents to speak to their offspring individually or as a group about estate plans they have made or intend to make.  Some or all of the following topics should be on the agenda:

• Does the parent have a will and/or a living trust?  Where are the documents located?  Who is the executor or trustee?  Who was the attorney who drafted the documents?  Other advisers?

• Does the parent have particular funeral preferences?  The child should know of any special requests concerning funeral services, burial, cremation, etc., and if pre-need arrangements have been made.

• Has the parent signed a living will or health care power of attorney that expresses their feelings about life-prolonging care?  Where are those documents located?

• Where does the parent bank?  Where are safety deposit boxes located?  Where can the keys be found?

• Talk with your children about the provisions in your will or trust, particularly if you are leaving more to one child than the others.  This “favoritism” may be due to health problems, financial setbacks or to “even out” assistance giving to others during your lifetime.  Whatever the reasons, discuss the plans with your children.  Don’t surprise them when the will is probated and leave them with the nagging question: “Why?”

• Consider a “letter of instruction” that distributes assets of sentimental value and give each child a copy.  Unlike a will or living trust, a letter of instruction is not a legal document, but it does express your wishes regarding items of personal property and can be updated without the formal requirements of a will.  If it’s important for one child to have a particular item, consider giving it to him or her now.  A gift also removes the value of the asset from your gross estate.

The goal of these discussions is to ensure that your estate plans work the way they were intended.  Most children will appreciate their parent’s candor and honesty is disclosing these arrangements in advance, and mom or dad usually will enjoy a sense of relief in knowing that their estate plan won’t come as a total surprise package.

 

Please contact us for more information.